Self-denying love is a primary goal of leaders in a Wesleyan theology of leadership. Jesus and John Wesley cited self-denial and the laying down of one's life as marks of loving discipleship. However, the idea of self-denial can be problematic for leaders who suffer in abusive contexts. How can self-denial be practiced in a way that is healthy and life-giving? This workshop will first address the plight of female leaders who find themselves depleted in ministerial relationships. Then we will explore an understanding of self-denial for those who are abused, oppressed, or depleted. Finally, we will name practices of self-denial which build confidence and fortitude in the leader.